[Editor’s note: John Horn and Mark Atkinson were friends at Bishop’s University. But then Mark went to Nova Scotia and John moved to Vancouver. Sporadically, they kept in touch over the years, but – fortunately for you, the noble readers of The Potentiality – their friendship has re-discovered itself thanks to hockey. More specifically thanks to the fact that Mark loves the Boston Bruins and John loves the Vancouver Canucks. Sure, after this series they can never be friends again. But the point is that you will benefit from their being nemesises nemeses nemesoulmates nemesi each others’ worst enemy! GO SPORTS!]
Re-Cap of Before
Mark: Alex F@#%ing Burrows. Of all people to score the game winner, it’s Burrows…..for Game 2 I was suckered by a Habs fan into heading to a different sports bar. ‘Sure thing’ I thought, ‘Boston Pizza wasn’t very Boston-like for game 1, so I’ll go with ya’. What he didn’t tell me was that not only was his Canucks fan of a girlfriend coming, but she was bringing 3 other Canucks fans, two of which brought brand new Canucks jerseys! I’ve walked into the lion’s den again! I’m not even going to go there on the officiating of game 2. You guys got screwed, we got screwed, and we definitely evened up the whole nibble-gate scenario with that McSorley style two handed calf hack on Bieksa. Maybe it was payback for Lapierre taunting Beregeron…mess with the bull buddy, you get the horns. I almost had my prediction right on the Recchi game winner with what I would have to call, the most beautiful tip-in in the history of all hockey. PS, that goal by Burrows in OT was straight out of NHL ’94. Kid must have been up all night on his Genesis scoring goals doing the wrap-around.
John: Alex Burrows. Great hockey player or the greatest hockey player? I’ll leave that to you, NHL Conn Smythe Selection Committee. Anyway, I watched the game with the Horn Family at the Beagle Pub in Victoria, BC. I can now cross-off Watching the Canucks win the Stanley Cup with my Dad off of my Bucket List. As Mark said, Boston evened (or went ahead) the Cheating Cup Cheaterthon Finals with the two-handed axe-job on Bieksa. It was dirtier than a bear who just binged on blackberries, boiled eggs, dirt, an ants nest, and 600 chicken stackers. If there is one important thing to re-cap about Saturday’s game is that the rest of the hockey world is in full-blown “we hate or strongly-dislike Vancouver” mode. Don Cherry is just Don Cherry, which was reflected in his comments during “Confused Man Yells Things at Moving Pictures Corner” about how Boston was about to run away with the series based on the first period…after which they were trailing. But what was even more astonishing was Mike Milbury’s Healy-like anger about Maxim Lapierre’s hilarious antics that involved a finger and Patrice Bergeron’s mouth. Check it out:
In conclusion, I am of the following opinion: for every gear that Boston has, Vancouver has two more.
Predictions: Game 3
John: The Canucks powerplay will come alive and everyone who cares for bears should be scared of this prediction/fact. The thing about Vancouver is that they win everywhere – and there’s no way that Chicago, Nashville and San Jose (arguably the three loudest arenas in hockey) aren’t louder than TD Garden. I also predict that Tim Thomas will cease to be the second best player on the Vancouver Canucks and go back to being the third best goaltender in the NHL (Cory Schneider is the second). The Canucks will continue to capitalize on incredibly sloppy and poor neutral zone play by the Bruins. And the following rumour will continue: because of their reputation for “coming second, third or worse in life” the Boston Bruins actually got their most recent logo from the reject-pile of pitched Batman logos back in the 1930s. The more I think about it – especially the finishing third in life stuff – the more this rumour totally makes sense! Especially because Batman was not a tennis player, which – I think – is what your team’s logo is all about. Final score: 3-1 Good Guys.
Mark: You had your turn, now we get to have ours. You’re supposed to win at home, that’s why they give you clowns the extra home game, because you had the better regular season record. Bruins ain’t scared though. Bruins are pumped really. See, we’ve been through two 7 games series’ already, we know that you don’t win the cup with two wins, you need four. As much as I hate to say it, I would assume that based on the past two games, we’re looking at another nail biter. If this series goes 7 games, I’ll be watching from my hospital bed cause I’m not sure how many heart attacks one man can survive. Last game I predicted Seguin would score the first Bruins goal, but not necessarily the first goal of the game. This time around, I say he scores the second goal (putting us up 2-0 in the first 10mins of the game), first goal is coming from Krejci in under 4mins. We then trade goals back and forth, sometimes even having a tie game. Boston scores one goal in the third and actually manages to hold the lead until the final horn blows. 4-3 Boston when the fat lady sings.
[INSERT TRASH TALK HERE]
Mark: Speaking of John’s [INSERT NAME SOMEONE CLOSE TO JOHN THAT WAS INAPPROPRIATE TO PUBLISH] singing, it’s going to be the power of Rene Rancourt’s voice when he belts out the anthems that gets this game going. Home ice advantage is a big deal. Heck, I get goosebumps sitting at a bar in Halifax, Nova Scotia when they start playing ‘Shipping up to Boston’ or ‘Hells Bells’, imagine how freakin pumped the Bruins will be. Heck, we even lost both games at home against Montreal then went on the road and stole two from them, so it’s not like we don’t know how to get this done. And I know you’re up by two games, but come on, both games decided by one goal, both of which happened almost right at the 60 minute mark. It’s not like you dominated the Bruins at home. More like you barely survived the Bruins in your own freaking rink. I’m going to return to Boston Pizza for tonight’s tilt in hopes of having a few fellow Bruins fans to cheer with, apparently they do exist here.
They also have two for one drinks tonight, so I’d be there even if there wasn’t a hockey game ;). Apparently those broccoli coloured spandex lovers are coming to Boston for the game. That’s balls. Even I wouldn’t be dumb enough to do that. There’s a poll online right now, vote 1 to leave them alone, vote 10 to punch their lights out: it’s currently at 8.5. And we have better fans anyway, check this kid out, that’s a real fan right there. Logo on his jersey and on his chest. You’ll never hear the crowd go wild for a couple of faceless aliens.
And if I were them, I’d be sure to wear a diaper, cause when you go to the bathroom, this is what happens:
John: I can’t disagree on the fan-front, Mark. Vancouver fans are decidedly corporate, quiet and like texting people about how they’re at the game. Those are the fans inside the arena, though. Outside, well, they’re closing even more streets tonight in order to accommodate the excited sprawl of folks looking to celebrate victory in North America’s most beautiful city. Just to clarify a comment above – Vancouver at the Good Guys. In terms of Trash Talk, well, I’m not about poking bears or spiking touchdowns when the score is 2-0. I’ll take a break from writing about how, Mark, your team needs to spend less time braiding their beard hair and more time hockeying because, well, it borders on gloating at this point. Good luck, good sir!